Stressed to the Max Mom

Dear Counselor,

I 'm a thirty something year old Mom that is overwhelmed! I am overwhelmed at job and even more so at home. I feel like when I get out of my paid job, I check into my non paid job (house work, carpools, homework ect). Everyone talks about having balance in our lives but no one tells us how to do this? If you know of any secrets to success in work/home life balance, PLEASE share this with me and my friends!

Thank you,

Stressed to the Max Mom

PS: My friends and I are all pulling for you and voting every day for you to be on Oprah!
___________________________________________

Dear Stressed,

You have touched on a subject that I personally have been working on for the past year. I have not cracked the Da Vinci Code on this issue, however, I met with a very experienced Life Coach and came up with some solutions that have changed my life. For brevity purposes only ... I will just share a few ideas.

The Life Coach pointed out that we [thirty somethings] tend to get so bogged down with bills, kids and our careers that we forget the value of play. We are are so overwhelmed with trying to get everything done all the time [at home and at work] that we sometimes lose ourselves in the details.

First, set aside one day per week where you can have a few hours all to yourself. No kids, no husband or significant other. Don't plan anything, don't take emails , texts or phone calls. Do whatever meets your fancy that day. For me, it could be reading a book one week and next week it's meditating and taking a long, hot bath. (If you don't have a spouse to take the kids for a few hours, negotiate a deal with another single Mom/Dad.) You will soon find that a few hours to yourself will feel like a mini vacation and your batteries will quickly recharge!

Second, get organized. I am convinced that the more chaos you have in your life the worse your outlook [on life] tends to be. Typically when a lawyer gets a new file, the first thing we do is organize all of the documents into the appropriate folders and sections. You can't understand what the real issues of the case are until you have sorted out all of the details.

Lastly, once you quiet your mind and organize your space, I urge you to write out a list of hobbies. Nothing on this list should include your children, friends or your spouse/significant other. You don't have to start or finish everything (or even anything on the list) for that matter. This is more of an exercise to get your creative juices going again. Don't get frustrated if you can't think of anything right away. Be kind to yourself. It's probably been a long time since you did things just for the fun of it.

I have to warn you that some people (family member included) may get upset and downright angry when you start this unplugging process. Eventually, they will get over it and accept the new and improved you! Most attorneys do not accept or return phone calls, emails or text messages while in trial because it diminishes their focus on the task at hand. That's just the nature of the beast. Keep your focus, stay the course and, in time, you will start seeing the "present" as truly a gift.

In closing, I would like to sincerely thank you and all of your friends for voting on Oprah each and every day! Your votes and support get me one step closer to helping more and more people.

My Sincerest Thanks,

The Counselor